Tuesday, April 1, 2008

April Fools: Gardening With Monkeys

The monkeys came home from school in rare form. As I have mentioned before, they are not funny when they are trying to be funny. Here are a few examples of April Fools "Jokes" they shared with me.
"I will not make you popcorn anymore" - APRIL FOOLS
"May I set fire to your garden?" - APRIL FOOLS
"May I throw this rotten apple at the village idiot?" APRIL FOOLS
"I don't love you" - APRIL FOOLS.
After the "I don't love you" I slipped out into the garden to weed and be by myself in the quiet. They found me. First one put a fake spider on my shoulder. This worked the first time, but they have done it about 400 time since then.
Now we have this wonderful dialog.
Baby monkey, "Mom"
Me, "What?"
Baby Monkey, "Mom"
Me, "What?"
Baby Monkey, "Mom."
Me, WHAT?????
Baby monkey, "I love you."
Middle Monkey asks to hold a rabbit. Okay, kid knock yourself out. Ten minutes later - MOM, MOM, MOM, MOM I SAW LUCY'S NUTS. LUCY HAS NUTS. Kid hands me an upside down bunny. As I may have mentioned before, Lucy is not a girl. I did not, however, share this information with my boys. I check out the rabbit equipment and declare Lucy a boy. They recovered and renamed him Mario. Then they bring me the other rabbit to be examined. No bunny balls can be seen. Starr is still a girl. Now they want to know when we are going to have babies. As an encore, the newly renamed Mario escaped and hid under an overgrown rose bush. It took us 20 minutes to get him out.
Things I had to say for the rest of the hour.
"Don't lock you brother in the rabbit hutch."
"Get out of the rabbit hutch."
"Get down from on top of the rabbit hutch."
"Do not put your brother under the wheelbarrow."
"Get that 2 gallon container off of your head."
"Don't throw onions into the street."
Help me somebody please help me.
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