Teenage Monkey Eats His Family Out of House and Home

Any minute now I will get back to garden blogging. In the meantime, can someone tell me exactly how much food is required for a fourteen-year-old boy? Tonight, he ate two and a half pork chops, all of the fried zucchini and okra, and some sauteed zucchini and carrots for dinner. About an hour later, he was making himself a hot dog. He is not overweight. He did just grow taller than me.

I bought green apples, red apples, oranges, and bananas today. This evening, the red apples and bananas are gone. He ate about four pounds of fruit in four hours.

We went out to dinner with my monster family last week. He ate his entree of salmon, half of another steak offered by an aunt, bits and pieces off of other plates, and at least two and a half servings of cheese cake and one serving of another dessert.

I have a teenager with a bottomless pit of a belly. I am getting a little scared. Do y'all have any idea how to afford the appetite of a teenage boy?

Bad Bedfellow

This morning, I was sleeping well having nice dreams about sunshine and flowers when something crawled across my face. I woke up and brushed it away and the sucker stung me on the palm of my hand. Then it crawled under the covers making me scream and bounce around the bed. Mr. Bad Bug then crawled to the edge of the bed. I went and got some tissue to kill it with. Okay, maybe tissue paper is not the right weapon to use to kill a stinging creature. I was still a little asleep and a lot in pain, cognitave function was not at it's best, just saying. I tried to squash it and the little monster stung me through the paper on the tip of my finger. I dropped it and it stung me again on the side of my finger. At this point Manly Man is awake and very confused. I leave the room to go find Benadryl. When I returned to the bed room, Manly Man was in his tennis shoes and boxers trying to find the bug with a giant mag light. He said it fell off the bed, but we never did find it. I took the blankets outside and shook them out just to be safe. This was the worse wake up ever. Now I am afraid to sleep in my bed.