I managed to get the computer working. I had to do this restore thing. It took a long time, but it worked. I haven't tried to use the printer yet, but having the internet back is a relief. What in the world was I going to do with a gallon of figs and no instructions from the webiphere?
If you had a gallon of figs, what would you do with them? Really, I need to know. I've got no clue.