The hay bale knew it was destined for greater things than being eaten by bovines. So on the way to the farm, he jumped off of the truck and made a mad dash for freedom. But that left him stuck in the ditch. How would he get to the other side, the greener side? He thought he could hitch hike, but discovered he had no thumbs.
Night came and he began to fear the arrival of thieving gardeners who would come pull him apart to fulfill their evil dreams of free mulch and compost.
He saw flickering lights that grew larger and larger. The hay fairies had shown up to transform him into a golden carriage for Cinderella. They had saved him from the fate of cow chow and mulch.
Thanks to everyone who played in the comments. This is your story, not mine.
Emergency preparedness: Buy toilet paper.
3 hours ago