Conversation with middle child "Your shirt is dirty do you need to take a bath" him "I took a bath this morning" Me "Why did you put a dirty shirt on your clean body" him "I didn't use soap or shampoo."
"How did you get the seat of your pants hung up on the dog kennel while you were wearing them?"
Kurt says "do egg shells have a lot of protein" Me "No, did you eat the eggshells?"
Seriously dude, don't eat ham in the bathtub either
"What did broccoli ever do to you?" question from a neighbor kid when I took a butcher knife out to the garden
Who ate apples in tbe bathtub?
Aunt #5 a.k.a. #1 Sister-in-law, "Did ya drop him on his head?"
Okay, somebody please put perfume on the dog
Dont ever ever ever take your shoes off in my truck. The toxic smell is killing me
Things I have found in the washing machine: Swiss army knife, unidentifiable fur, exploded stuffed animal, screw driver, a cat, an 8 year-old, rocks, sticks, hotwheels. What I dont find in the washing machine: Matching socks.
Get that off your head and get down here
If I call Logan a dork, my mother will pinch me when he tells on me.
Whos backpack is in the dishwasher?
For the love of god what is that smell
Dude you just french kissed the dog
My naked brother is right there singing
Who put my perfume on the dog?
Kurtis GET DOWN FROM ON TOP OF THE STOVE
13 hours ago