Wednesday, October 7, 2009

This Time Somebody Has Gone Too Far

I have to share a bathroom with the Monkeys. I do have my own vanity and sink, but it is only sacred ground to me. To them, it is a science experiment. My makeup, perfume and moisturizers are the chemicals. One time, they put my makeup and perfume on the dog. That’s right, eye shadow, blush and Chanel #5 on a German shepherd.

Last week one of them Baby Monkey who will remain unnamed put the baby powder in the bathtub while he was taking a bath. He also used all of my fancy spa bath gel. He smelled really good, but he looked a little ashy.

There has been tooth paste on the toilet lid. The shower curtain and a towel were once caught on fire. There is always a layer of water, dirty clothes and the smelliest sneakers I have ever smelled in my life on the floor in there.

Once a week I have a fit and fall in it. Then, and only then, they clean it up.

They have gone to far this time. Baby Monkey Someone is messing with my hair stuff. The reason this is important is because you should not mess with a woman’s hair stuff just on principle. However, when a woman has curly hair, the hair stuff takes on a whole new level of importance. Curly haired women need products, lots of products. On a mildly humid day just a little mousse might work just fine. On a rainy windy day gel, smoothing serum and a cream detangler may be necessary. Every once in a while a ponytail and pomade will make for the perfect hair day. This happens about three times a year. Those are very special days. Most days, I am just trying to keep it from looking like a bushy tailed squirrel is living on my head.

I am considering running away to an all female convent where all the nuns have curly hair and take a vow of leaving each others stuff alone.


  1. Ha!!! Oh, dear, setting the towel on fire. Where will it end indeed?! Maybe you should build them an outhouse and solar shower and forbid them access to the bathroom! Being curly-haired myself, I feel your pain. On hot, humid days, I could give Louis XIV a run for his money!---Silence

  2. Once while helping someone baby sit..this little boy took an entire bottle of baby powder and threw it in and all over the entire bathroom. He came to show me cause he knew someone else would be furious. It was rather white in there but it smelled really good. I expect they are still finding powder in that bathroom. Just remember...curly hair is better than straight hair any day damp or not!

  3. Hey Debbi, have you seen The Womens Colony website. I have it on my sidebar. That is where I'd want to go after I had a fit and fell in it. I am a colonist and write over there sometimes. Check it out sometime. A "virtual" haven for women. Men only have visiting hours and aren't allowed to use the indoor bathrooms. Instead are relegated to outhouses! Perfect for you!

  4. Yep - I had three sons
    Yep - I can relate
    Yep - When they leave home the bathroom is wonderful, except that by then you don't really care about hair, face, nails etc.

    Such a delightful post Debbie ... I feel for you.

  5. From one curly haired woman to another. I hear you!

    Still, it's entertaining reading of the monkeys' antics. (easy for me to say, my ferals are still fast asleep).

  6. I raised 5 boys. I hear you. They are all grown and gone to responsible occupations now, with children of their own, and I mean, you can see Daddy's genes in everything the kids do. Pray that your children pass on their special genes, for in this way, they get paid back.

    I also had one (1) little girl. I prayed for another girl all the way through 4 subsequent pregnancies, and not one prayer was answered. All boys.

    Then as she grew up, (like, overnight, at the age of 12) I discovered that The Good Lord had far more wisdom than did I. He KNEW I didn't have any business with more than one little girl! Thank You, Lord!

    They are all fun. Loved your post.