Wednesday, October 7, 2009

This Time Somebody Has Gone Too Far

I have to share a bathroom with the Monkeys. I do have my own vanity and sink, but it is only sacred ground to me. To them, it is a science experiment. My makeup, perfume and moisturizers are the chemicals. One time, they put my makeup and perfume on the dog. That’s right, eye shadow, blush and Chanel #5 on a German shepherd.

Last week one of them Baby Monkey who will remain unnamed put the baby powder in the bathtub while he was taking a bath. He also used all of my fancy spa bath gel. He smelled really good, but he looked a little ashy.

There has been tooth paste on the toilet lid. The shower curtain and a towel were once caught on fire. There is always a layer of water, dirty clothes and the smelliest sneakers I have ever smelled in my life on the floor in there.

Once a week I have a fit and fall in it. Then, and only then, they clean it up.

They have gone to far this time. Baby Monkey Someone is messing with my hair stuff. The reason this is important is because you should not mess with a woman’s hair stuff just on principle. However, when a woman has curly hair, the hair stuff takes on a whole new level of importance. Curly haired women need products, lots of products. On a mildly humid day just a little mousse might work just fine. On a rainy windy day gel, smoothing serum and a cream detangler may be necessary. Every once in a while a ponytail and pomade will make for the perfect hair day. This happens about three times a year. Those are very special days. Most days, I am just trying to keep it from looking like a bushy tailed squirrel is living on my head.

I am considering running away to an all female convent where all the nuns have curly hair and take a vow of leaving each others stuff alone.