Friday, November 28, 2008

Church of the Latter Day Hates to Fold Socks Order

In order to get out of folding socks it was suggested that I make sock folding against my religion. My religion pretty much has no opinion about socks. So let's invent a new church. Foxymoron of This Country Life suggested "Church of The Latter Day Hates to Fold Socks Order." That might work. Now we can send notes to our spouses about how we cannot in good conscience fold the socks, as we will be committing a cardinal sin. Purist in the movement may even refuse to fold clothes on religious grounds. Everybody in the Monkey House will then have to find their own freaking socks.

Aunt Debbi's Ten Sock Commandments
1. Honor your mother and stop it with the sock antics.
2. Thou shall not throw socks on the ceiling fan.
3. Thou shall not wear your mother's pink footies.
4. Thou shall not take your socks off and leave these socks on top of the play house.
5. Thou shall not throw your socks over the fence to the neighbor's dog.
6. Thou shall not leave your socks in the kitchen.
7. Thou shall not sneak your dad's socks when you cannot find your own because you left all your dirty socks under the bed.
8. Thou shall not leave your dirty socks under the bed.
9. Thou shall not wear a mismatched (one blue/one white) pair of socks to school. The teachers think you are being raised by a pair of howler monkeys.
10. Find your own freaking socks.

Now isn't that better?

Should I worry about being struck down for this little bit of silliness?


  1. Debbie .. I would add one more .. "Thou Shalt "uncurl" your stiff, dirty, socks so your mother doesn't have to touch them like THAT !" eeeeuuuuuwwwwww !

  2. I'm with Joy. It's not better here with two girls and one boy. My son just keeps getting his dad to buy him new socks when the others pile up under the bed. Oh, and for those folks who think I should go in after them, "No Way!" He's almost 14. I will only clean that room once again . . . when he goes to college.~~Dee

  3. I don't fold socks. My husband is so picky about his that he buys those special sock clips and clips his together before he throws them in the laundry bin. Maybe you should try that. I don't know if monkeys can be taught to clip their own socks. I kind of doubt it, since they'd rather throw them places. Maybe you should do like some of the jails have done around here. They made the prisoners wear pink uniforms. Maybe you should threaten them with pink socks if they don't behave. Would that bother them any?

  4. I would like to add one more....thou shalt stop wearing the same socks over and over well before the point of reeking stiffness.

  5. Sounds like my house isn't the only one with sock issues, lol. I found 10 pairs of socks under my son's bed, they were gathering dust bunnies. ;)

  6. Will you ordain me as a minister? Or at least a nun (sister Liberata, liberated from sock sorting). I completely qualify, having been "sock keeper" to 2 husbands, various boyfriends (not at the same time), children, and parents. Total time spent +30 years.
    Also, last year I received my doctorate in "ALL the socks in the house are dumped into a big basket and I am no longer responsible".
    Always the rebel, I and my household regularly break the commandment about mismatched socks; as long as they are clean, wear 'em!
    We could make a rosary out of knotted socks! I love it!!!!

  7. Could we add not shoving the dirty socks under the dresser or couch? AND they should not leave their dirty, grass covered socks inside out when they put them into the washing machine?

  8. Joy, I am pretty sure crusty curled up socks are a deadly sin in this church.

    Dee, I don't clean up Teenage Monkey's room either.

    Hi Sister Becca, I am also sure that wearing dirty socks over and over is also a deadly sin.

    Racquel, socks under bed breaks a commandment. Take him to church sister.

  9. Nola, Consider yourself ordained. Yes, a giant sock basket is a now considered an alter. A sock rosary is not a bad idea, if we can hunt down suitable socks.

    Amanda, Can I get a Hallelujah!!!

    Cinj, I know. I find socks between the cusions on the couch all time. yucky.

  10. OMG what have I started? I like Debbi's number 10 myself.

    All you girls are so funny. These are our glory years you know, while we raise these kids. One day we'll look back on the sock issues and.............oh no we won't.

    My Emily is the only one of my many children that actually wears holes in her socks. I have no idea how she does it, but she does it.

  11. Foxy, you are just leading us out of the socky wilderness:)

    Yesterday, during our Thanksgiving celebration, I discovered that Baby Monkey was wearing the holiest pair of socks ever. I mean a pair of socks full of holes, not a pair of sacred socks.

  12. I don't know if this has been a reply yet---but I tell my dh to buy all the same socks--that way--they all match.

  13. Anna, Fantastic idea. Unfortunately, There are 22 people outside my little family buying different special socks for Manly Man. We have lost odd numbers of each of them.

  14. Foxy, That's right, God bless them every one.

  15. More sock business, huh, Deb? Hmm.

    Loved the litergy.

    I don't think I've ever folded socks. My family's lucky if do the laundry. Husband got banned from this job after shrinking a sweater of mine to the point where my younger son, then 16, asked, "What, do we have toddlers here now?"

    I carry the clean clothes upstairs in their baskets then ride everyone till they get their own laundry. Whether their socks get folded or not, I don't know and don't care. Life's full enough of more interesting things!

  16. Kate, it does not appear that I can let the sock situation go. This time, I am blaming it on foxymoron. She gave me the excuse and I ran with it.

    I am about ready to give my teenager his own laundry basket, but I don't trust the other two yet.